Creating Through Love vs Producing by Fear

Imagine a wearing a dress that you handcrafted yourself. How exciting it is to wear that dress. How proud you are. This dress was created with meaning. With love. Now a dress made in a factory by a machine can look the same, but the difference is the energy behind it. 

The same is true with our thoughts and therefore actions. 

A thought birthed of love can look the same as one produced of fear.

Example, one can be nice and help someone out of fear of the self-guilt that will come by not helping, or one can be kind and help out of true compassion. 

The same action but two different feelings behind them. 

Thoughts birthed of love come from our body. They come from how we truly feel. Love does not just mean happy and light. Love is in the grief, the sorrow, the anger too. Love is the space that allows for those emotions to be present with acceptance and compassion for it all. It is the absence of pressure. It is the space to play. To run free in all that you are. 

A game changer for me is prioritizing how I feel in each moment and giving myself space to feel it. To be in it. For example, when I am going to work and I am struck with the "I don't want to be doing this" or "I feel sad today" or "I am tired", I give space to it. I say "Ok, you can go home if you really need to, they will understand" or "Ok, you can be sad today" or "Ok you can rest your head and your mind today". And, I come to find out that when I give myself the option to go home, my desire that drives me to work appears as the pressure subsides. "This money is my tool, and I am happy to be working towards my dreams". 

It is safe to let go of pressure and give space to your truth.

It may seem scary at first and that is ok. 

But I promise your soul is an ever-burning fire that will carry you onwards as the wind does to the magic carpet.

You do not need the pressure to keep going. 

Paradoxically, pressure only keeps you from enjoying the going. The journey. 

Also, another game changer for me is coming back to the truth. For example, money was not designed to make us suffer. To make us worry. In simplicity, it was designed as a means for trade, so that we could each live doing what we each love. I make clothes, she makes jewelry, he harvests the wheat and makes flour, and on and on and on. It was made to make room for more fun, play, and love. To explore the different creations of others for entertainment. 

It was not meant to be fearful of not having enough, but to feel abundance by having any at all. 

This article seems to have turned into revolving around money lol. It is what is alive for me, and it is very important to talk about. The way we perceive money can totally shift the space and freedom we feel inside. 

Back to the main topic. The mental stories we hold create boxes within us of who we think we have to be. This is the opposite of space (love) and is pressure (fear). 

This can be any identity we hold on to that is not aligned with how we truly feel inside and that we don't feel comfortable giving up. Any identity that is not aligned to how we truly feel is only there out of fear of giving it up. It is in our nature to act as we feel, and anything different than that is due to our own blocking. 

These thoughts, these constructs, are not natural. They are produced by fear, projected into us at sometime during our lives by someone else's pain, fear, or anger. 

Thoughts by themselves are "dead". All thought begins with an emotion behind it. Emotions, energy in motion, is living. 

If you are aligning your actions with thoughts that come from emotions that are not yours - other people's pain, fear, or anger - living a story that is not your own, then your actions are "dead" and preventing your true soul expression from fully blossoming. You will know it because you will feel it. Maybe not right away, but it is unarguably there. 

True soul expression is free. It is liberation. It is space. It is abundance. 

Our body, our emotions, are our very own world. Our own story. There needs no validation to prove it, for a feeling is a feeling whether one chooses to see it or not. It does not fail to push, to assert its truth, and will not stop until it is seen. And this "seeing", this awareness, this presence is love in itself. It is space. 

We are born intimately. All is intimate. The fire in our bellies. In our throat. It is intense, and it is calm. And we can be all of it. I, you, we, need not pretend any longer. 

I, Ella, no longer prepare to fall.

I, Ella, am welcomed and safe to rise high in my glory, in my aliveness, in all that is present within me.

I, Ella, am welcomed to root deep into the Earth, cozy-ing myself in the weight of the soil above me. 

And all who read this are welcomed and called on to do the same. 

Conversation with God: 

Me "I am scared"

God "Of what?"

Me "I am not sure. Of being alone."

God "As that is valid! Humans, life, is not designed to feel alone, as we are never alone. Although this world may seem dark, power hungry, unempathetic, there is no true power in it. True power are the birds who sing on, the waves that crash on, the trees that still grow despite being used and abused. True power lies in the grief that comes along with the awareness of such a being that destroys such elegance. But please dear, never forget you are elegant. That the wave of your emotions are one with the intimacy that governs all life. 

You are born to shine, or else you wouldn't be here.

In fact, you began with a spark of conception, and, in case you need permission, I give you permission to not only keep that spark alive, but let it roar into the fire it is meant to be."