The Sunset + Rainbow

The Sunset + Rainbow - June 14th, 2021

Driving home from work, the sky was very dark, but the sun had a very beautiful glow on the earth. I looked in my mirrors and saw behind me a beautiful sunset. I wanted to turn around, but I knew I had to keep going. I was relating this to the concept that no matter how pretty the past may seem, you have to keep going and remaining in the present. As I was thinking that, I saw a rainbow. Sometimes you need to travel into the darkness, leaving behind a pretty past, to reach breathtaking beauty all around (peace). Also, beauty comes in many forms. Sunsets are pretty, but so are rainbows. Same thing with happiness. Happiness can come from many different things. However, true peace comes from being present. Anyways, I pulled over in a field and has an all-around view of the sunset and the double rainbows. The earth had a pinkish tint. I'll be seeing just a pretty of a sunrise in the morning :)

Update from 2024, the sunrise the next day was all fogged out hahahahaha and cold and windy.

You have to let the past go to allow the space for an even better future. 

We are ever flowing, ever changing. Our emotions, our realities, our beliefs. We are hueman, and part of being hueman is growth. It is safe to let go and trust that there is light here and in the future. Life is so open to any possibility, regardless of what the past has shown you.

Currently, I am in the phase of letting go.

First of all, I'm letting go of the way my life was in my childhood. There is grief there, in letting go. I realized that part of me is scared to let it go in fear that I won't feel anything as good ever again. But that is when it came to me... that if I am looking for happiness to look like how it did in the past, I am remaining closed to all the infinite possibility of NEW happiness in the future. Like I said, beauty can come in the form of a sunset, or in a rainbow. Both different, and both beautiful. And it was my openness to leave a good sunset behind that led me to the rainbow... while still experiencing the epic sunset :) 

Secondly, I realized I still hold on to blame and shame of a past relationship. Still trying to "be better" and never let anyone treat me like that again. I'm trying to make sure the past never repeats itself. And in this way, I am still holding on. I am not letting it go. I'm not forgiving myself. I'm still not trusting myself and the world. 

And with this acknowledgement of these beliefs I hold, the process of letting them go begins. Oh and how good it feels to not have the weight of "trying to make things right" again. 

Instead, I am forgiving myself. Forgiving the circumstances. And with that, opening the doors to a new future. One that is not built around avoiding the past, but embracing the path of my soul. Letting my soul out of the mental cage formed of the past. And, in turn, letting in the new adventures life has in store for me. The new love. 

Thank you 2021 Ella ♡ 

And thank you God for not only the beauty in the physical sunset and rainbow, but the beauty in its symbolism. And for calling me to revisit. I received your message loud and clear.